Dance like no one is watching you

Hello everyone!  The topic I want to tackle at the eve of a brand new year is "taking calculated risks."  The progress of civilization has always been powered by risk takers.  Risk taking is an essential leadership quality in today’s business environment.  Taking a risk is the only act that will change the course of your life.  If you are content with your state of being, then there is no reason for you to do things differently.  However, if you are unhappy with where you are in life or in your career, then it may be time to shake things up a bit.  I want to be clear that I am focused on taking “calculated risks” that will help you and not reckless abandonment that will land you on a viral video montage of stupidity. 

I was raised with the Eastern belief of prioritizing "saving face" above all.  Taking risk was not something encouraged in my household when I was growing up.  Because if you fail, then you may bring shame upon your family and yourself.  As a matter of fact, Asians, have mastered the art of setting oneself up for success with minimal risks.  If you hire a tutor, then you will get better grades.  If you go to the best schools, then you will get better jobs.  If you don’t play sports, then you won’t get hurt.  I remember when I went skiing for the first time and returned home with a cut on my face that went from right below my eye to my upper lip.  I took a risk and did something no one else in my family has ever attempted.  As a result, I literally hurt my face.  My mom was so concerned about a villainess scar on my face for the rest of my life.  Luckily, I was left with just a little one near my nose that is barely visible.  As you can imagine, that example was used quite often by my parents as a reason I should not take risks.

Fortunately, I grew up to be the paradox of someone who is conservative by my upbringing yet daring because I am a middle child demanding to be noticed.  There are plenty of things that I have never done and will likely never do, for example eating live Madagascar hissing cockroaches as they do on the "Fear Factor."  However, my friends would never think of me as conservative.  They watched me jump off the ledge and descended 108 stories with only a cable attached to a crane on top of Las Vegas's Stratosphere Hotel.  They have seen me run off a cliff to do tandem hang gliding in Rio de Janeiro.  They have also seen me in the middle of an empty dance floor dancing without a care in the world of who was watching me.  

I have also taken many calculated risks in my career.  I knew that if I was not content with what I was doing, I needed to take a risk and redefine myself so that I can open new doors and head in new directions.  I moved from the comforts of working for a large corporation to the uncertainty of a small start-up business.  I left a decade plus career with one firm where I had a well-established internal network to a bigger company where I had to reestablish myself all over again.   Each of these risks I took resulted in greater responsibilities and greater exposure.  There have been days when I question whether or not I was good enough or ready for the bigger challenges.  I have tested these fears with others.  Surprisingly, many of my colleagues go through similar routines of self-doubt.  However, they are successful leaders because they can acknowledge their fears, take calculated risks, and rely on their experiences to conquer new challenges.  

Each time I took recreational risks, I had to trust that the people who created these experiences have done what they can to ensure my safety and that I have the physical capability to perform my part.  Each time I made a career move, I had to trust the people who gave me the opportunities made the right judgment call and that the skills and wisdom that I have acquired over the years will set me up for success.

So if you are looking to change your status, then here are my recommendations for preparing to take some calculated risks:

1. Know your tolerance – there is no reward in taking risks if it causes you to drown in a maelstrom of anxiety attacks.  I use to provide financial advice.  One of the key things we have to establish up front is the investor's risk tolerance.  There is no sense in putting a person into the stock market if they are going to spend every hour checking their stocks and freaking out over every price drop.
2. Know your abilities – evaluate your competence in achieving success.  Do not go far beyond your abilities.  Do not attempt the double black diamond slope on your first time skiing.  Often, I receive inquiries from recruiters about jobs where 75% of the job is perfect for me, but I have no experience on the other 25%.  I would have a very frank conversation with the recruiter and respectfully decline the interview if we decide that experience for the 25% was critical to the success of the role. 
3. Know the odds – Investigate the probability of success and who you are trusting to help you be successful.  I once talked to a recruiter about a job where the role was an individual contributor but the scope of responsibilities could only be accomplished by a team of people.  I did not move forward with the interview because I saw insufficient support and a low probability of success.
4. Know your history – use all the risks you have taken in the past to build confidence in taking the next risk.  I am fortunate enough to have some key pivot points in my life that I can rely on as reflection of positive results from risk taking.  I often think of my parents selflessly risked everything they had to immigrate to the United States of America so their children would have a better life.  I am here sharing my professional experiences with you today because they took that huge risk.
5. Know the reward – the potential reward for taking the risk should be large enough for it to be worthwhile.  Early in my career, I saw a lot of people make lateral moves to other companies for higher salaries.  I discovered that they were actually leaving for a couple of thousand dollars more.  Essentially, they gave up their tenure for promotions and internal networks for a few dollars more per paycheck. 

In hindsight, taking risks have been rewarding for me both personally and in my career.  I can attribute all of the good things in my life to daring to take a risk, not giving up because I failed in the past, and not being complacent with my status quo.  There is a euphoric rush in thrill seeking but the more rewarding part for me is the sense of accomplishment for ascending to new personal heights. 

That's it for now.  In the spirit of New Year resolutions, I hope you include some risk taking for the coming year.  Thank you for reading my Random Rambling posts.  I am grateful for all those who shared my posts and commented with personal stories.  I hope 2016 will be a very successful year for all of us and that our world will find peace, unity, and common passion for the greater good.

Stay cheesy

The Rambunctious Rat

Lifetime of Performances - Confessions of a Secret Introvert

Today, my random ramblings will be a public confession.  Not everything about me is as it appears.  A dear friend once told me that he learned how to be an extrovert by watching me.  He told me that I have never met a stranger because I was at ease with meeting and conversing with complete strangers.  The truth is, I am actually not all that brave.  There are times when I have actually been terrified at the idea of going to networking events.  The thought of putting myself out there and meeting new people would make my palms sweat, which is not a very hygienic if you are in a situation where you have to shake a lot of hands.

Some of you are probably shaking your heads thinking that I am pulling everyone's legs.  On the surface, I personify the word "extrovert."  I spend a lot of time at networking events.  I frequently make presentations to large audiences.  Some may even consider me to be a "connector" because I belong to so many networks.  So why would I claim to be an introvert at heart?

Many of the Chinese culture and values, such as being humble and reserved in social settings, line up with introversion.  Many of us were probably forced to stay home and study or go to summer school rather than out learning to be social at the playground or on a sports team.  On top of that, I was single and lived by myself for most of my thirties.  I have had plenty of practice finding energy from within myself.  No matter how many people I deal with during the day, I went home to my condo (or my hotel room since I am a consultant) by myself every night.  If I was truly an extrovert, that would've been very lonely.  I loved having my "fortress of solitude" to retreat from the world.  

I still get butterflies in my stomach before I take stage, even though I have been on stage hundreds of times.  I often feel alone in a room full of people even though I have been told that my charisma draws people to me.  Like most introverts, I tend to spend a lot of time talking with the voices in my head.  If I was half as funny out loud as the voices that dominate my head, then I would be quite the comedian.  The clearest sign that I am introvert in an extrovert's clothing is that I crash hard after being on stage or attending a networking event.  I would have been very energized by those experiences if I was an extrovert.

So, how did I overcome my introversion to be known as a "people person?"  Here are a few things that I have done my whole life:

1. I get into character.  When I was a kid, I dabbled in acting enough to know how to get into character.  I often meditate and use self-affirmation to psych myself into going on stage or into social situations.  I use my introversion to reach deep into myself and draw energy to become someone that is more confident and more comfortable in social settings.

2. I adjust my focus.  When I am on stage, I widen my focus so far beyond the audience that they almost become blurry to me.  This helps me feel as comfortable presenting as if I was still rehearsing by myself.  When I am speaking with a person at a networking event, I try to filter out all of the other distractions going on around me and focus on the person and the conversation.  This helps me to limit my anxieties about being in a room full of people.

3. I ask open ended questions.  Asking good questions is one sure way to get away with not being the one doing all the talking.  If there is anything I learned in my two years working for a call center is how to actively listen and ask open ended questions.  If you ask the right questions, then you can keep the dialog going regardless of how much or how little you know about the topic. The more you show interest in what someone has to say, the more likely you will find a reason to stay connected beyond that networking moment.

4. I spend my energy strategically.  When networking, I determine who I want to talk to ahead of time and what I want the conversation to get me.  Once I have reached my goals, I can choose how to spend the rest of my energy.  I can choose to take a break from the crowds, be a non-creepy introvert fly on the wall and listen in on conversations, and even allow myself to make a few more new connections.  It is important to note that introverts are very good at disappearing without notice.  I am definitely still learning and practicing how to make more impactful good-bye’s so that I leave lasting positive impressions.

5. I keep putting myself out there.  There is nothing in this world that comes naturally for me.  People who think I am a great extrovert may not realize that I have forced the situation by consistently putting myself out there since I was in middle school.  As uncomfortable as I am being social or taking center stage, I have spent decades doing it so that it has become something I can do as unconsciously as brushing my teeth.

You may have seen or heard of "performance of a life time."  My extroversion is a "life time of performances."  I have developed an extrovert persona that I put on almost every day of my life.  That said, I am not suggesting that I become someone I am not.  All actors and actresses bring themselves into their performance.  Being authentic is still a key to success.  I let my own personality come through when I am being an extrovert.  I am infamous for my quirky social awkwardness and liberal use of self-deprecation humor.  Both traits come standard issue for introverts.  Overtime, I have made being an extrovert an acquired skill rather than a birthright personality trait.  

At the end of the day, I know that I cannot avoid public speaking and networking if I want to achieve my personal and professional goals.  I also know that getting uncomfortable is a small sacrifice to make in the journey of becoming a better me.  

I hope that this helps those of you who are introverts to push pass your anxieties and put yourselves out there.

Stay cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat

What's in a name?

Hello everyone, it’s me randomly rambling again.  Recently, I was privileged to have been in the audience of a panel discussion about Asian stereotypes.  The panel of renowned Asia American leaders each took turn telling their amazing stories and they urged the mostly Asian audience not to give up on their ethnicity in the workplace.  It was an inspiring segment.  There was a phrase that one of the panelists used that stood out with me.  "Don't check your ethnicity at the door."  I nodded in agreement and then chuckled because my eyes had moved towards the screen displaying the pictures and names of the moderator and the panelists.  Four out of five of them were using “western friendly” names.  

I chuckled because I have heard the advice of adopting a westernized name to fit in from multiple sources.  The idea is that it cuts out the "noise" and helps others to focus on the individual rather than spending time to agonizing over remembering how to properly pronounce the individual's name.  It is not a bad advice, except that in this context, giving up your name is absolutely the gate way drug to checking your ethnicity at the door.

My first thought after I chuckled was that I use my western name on a regular basis.  Actually, because my western name is difficult to pronounce, I just introduce myself using my initials.  I nearly never give out my Chinese name.  So am I a hypocrite for thinking that when someone adapts a western name, then they are checking their ethnicity at the door?  One difference is that I was given my western name when I was born because my parents were progressive and because I lived in Hong Kong when it was still a British colony.  Like most Asians who grew up or were born in a western culture, my western name had become part of my identity.  Only very close relatives ever knew or used our Asian names.  

When all is said and done, I do not have a good enough excuse for never using my Asian name.  I do check that part of my ethnicity at the door every day.  I grew up never telling my non-Asian friends my Chinese name because I wanted to avoid being teased.  I should also note that I have been told by Chinese friends that my Chinese name sounded like a name meant for a girl rather than a boy.  Well, I did not tell too many Asian people my Chinese name after that either.

I was once told a joke that Chinese dads came up with names for their babies by throwing beer cans down the street and listening for the sounds the cans made as they hit the ground.  Well, I am a Chinese dad.  I can tell you that it took months of deliberation, unsolicited recommendations, and usually some form of epiphany to come up with both the Chinese and English names of our children.  In fact, I will argue that the names parents come up with for their children probably represents something very important to them.  In some cultures that would mean naming your children after a loved one.  In other cultures, it may be that the meaning of the name represents your hope for your children.  Some names represent a proud lineage of the family.  Now imagine those children someday becoming ashamed of their name, or choosing to give up using their given name just to fit in.

So, what is the right answer here?  Are people indeed checking their ethnicity at the door when they adopt a name that is more fitting of the local culture?  Is it something simple or meaningless to give up?  Does it indeed become the first of many acts of Asian sub-servitude towards westerners that leads to repeated behaviors of falling in line and blending in?  Is a group of westernized minorities with easy to pronounce names what corporations and customers mean when they demand diversity?

I will offer this last thought on the topic.  When I was choosing a foreign language to learn, I was told I should take Spanish because it was the second most spoken language in the US.  I spent three years studying Spanish on that advice.  Asians make up more than half of the world's total population.  Would it be that much to ask someone to spend three minutes learning how to say your name?  What would the world feel like if westerners came up to Asians and introduced themselves in adopted Asian names?

Stay Cheesy

The Rambunctious Rat

Are you mentally prepared to be a leader?

Hello everyone, Rambunctious Rat here rambling away again.  I recently took on a leadership role and thought it was a good time to evaluate how prepared I was for that role.  I know, cart before the horse, right?  When I started to reminisce about my own journey in becoming a leader, I thought it would be a worthwhile to share my experiences as this week's post.

Phase 1. Popularity Leadership: From a very young age, I started to take on leadership roles.  I might attribute that drive to modeling after my very outgoing father or being a middle child looking for a way out.  Either way, I found myself taking on many student leadership roles throughout my scholastic years.  I am not going to lie, I think I mostly did it to be popular.   In those days, I was obsessed with being accepted and becoming popular.  I wanted to be “the Fonz.”  Secondly, we were brainwashed to believe that you can never have enough extracurricular activities and student leadership roles when applying for colleges and jobs.  I was suckered to buy that “Who’s who in American Colleges” plaque.

My obsession with becoming a popular leader did help me to develop many leadership skills and habits.  While spending years practicing the art of making people like me, I ultimately increased my capabilities around speaking in public, being charismatic, networking and building relationships, and using rhetoric devices.  My mindset was focused on my personal success.

Phase 2. Team Leadership: After college, I was no longer a junkie for popularity or needed resume fillers.  I found my stride and was no longer dependent on the acceptance of others.  The leadership qualities and habits that I developed when I was younger carried over as I quickly moved up the ranks in the office place.  I started to gain experiences and professional maturity that helped me move into my next leadership phase.  

I began to see that my actions as a leader can result in the success, or demise, of my team.  I became accountable for not only my performance, but also the performance of my team.  Through my experiences as a supervisor and manager, I developed capabilities to motivate others, lead others through change, and leverage diversity among team members.  I learned to become selfless and push the best ideas rather than my ideas.  By going to bat for my team, I earned their trust.  By going to battle as part of my team, I gained their respect.  By letting down my hair, I learned to be an authentic leader.  It was the 90s, I had a mullet ponytail.  My mindset had shifted to focusing on team success.

Phase 3. Executive Leadership:  In my early 30s, I was trapped in the wasteland of middle management.  I recall feeling frustrated that I was not moving forward at the fast and furious pace that defined my earlier career.  I had forgotten what I learned when I was in business school.  I was trapped in the weeds of everyday operations.

My awakening came when I moved up to the Director level and began to regularly have C-Suite level conversations.  I recalled the three things that drive any business: make money, safe money, and stay out of jail!  There are two key lessons that I learned from these experiences.  1.) Developing executive summaries taught me to focus on what mattered the most for running a business and making executive decisions.  2.) Focusing on business imperatives in my thought process and my communication conveyed executive presence to others.  My mindset had shifted to focusing on organizational results.

Phase 4. Societal Leadership: My new leadership role is the President of a local chapter of a non-profit organization, Ascend.  My teenage self would be thrilled because I was always a VP and never a President.  My team leader self will focus on the success of a very talented volunteer executive board.  My executive self will focus on expanding our foot print, signing new sponsors and increasing membership.  All good, right?  I find myself saying that it is not enough.  There has to be more.  

It may be because I am a new parent and I focus on making my world a better place for my children.  It may be that I am finally at a stage in my life when I am ready for a higher calling.  Either way, my mindset for leadership is shifting again.  This role gives me the opportunity to advocate for the voiceless, create opportunities for the hopeless, and inspire more people to rise to their full potential.  I can lead change in society.   I realize that the mission of my organization matters more than the bottom line.  Since my eyes have opened to what it means to be a leader in society, I feel like the possibilities for the greater good are endless.  My mindset is shifting to focus on betterment of our society.

Thank you for taking this introspective journey with me.  I want to qualify my points of view as usual.  I am an everyday person.  I am not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, nor am I running for an election to be leader of the free world.  I am not even a Partner at my Firm yet.  I am more like you than I am like those extraordinary leaders with the weight of the world on their shoulders.  I hope that you see this post as a reminder that you can shift your mindset and move forward in your own leadership journey.

Stay Cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat

Before I was Born

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month saying, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them." (October15th.com)

Pregnancy and infant losses are tremendously tragic.  The pendulum swings swiftly from happiness and hope to misery and loss.  They are also heartbreaking because we all share a deep fondness for the innocence of babies and the hope they represent for the future.  The fact that it is such a common occurrence makes it really important for us to become more aware and more supportive of those going through it.

Today, I want to share our story with you to help raise awareness of this very common tragedy.

When my wife and I returned from our honeymoon, we found out that we were expecting.  It was an amazing and scary discovery.  We went from the chaos of planning and having wedding celebrations on two continents to the wonders of being first time expecting parents in just a few weeks.  We were living in the clouds and dreaming about how our lives would change.  Like most Chinese, we counted our blessings when we discovered the baby was going to be a boy born in the year of the Dragon.

Unfortunately, our dreams turned tragic a few months later.  My wife's water broke at week 21.  We were encouraged by the doctors to make a decision to deliver the baby knowing that he would not survive.  Instead, we turned to our faith and hope for a miracle that the baby could survive inside her womb for a couple more weeks so that he would have a chance at the NICU.  Two days later, my wife went into contractions and we had to deliver our baby boy.  I still remember holding him with palms of my hands and my wife pushing through her tears as she named him Jonah.  We elected to cremate Jonah and held a small service at our church.  Jonah's ashes rest on our mantle to this day.

The two days between my wife's water breaking and Jonah's birth is now a blur to me.  I recalled that my wife and I spent a lot of time in our family room.  She had to remain as still as possible.  We would pray together and sing to Jonah.  The one song that I kept coming back to was a hymn called, "Before I was Born" by David Haas.  It comforted us in thinking about how Jonah had a relationship with God even before he was born.  I hoped that it would comfort Jonah to know that he was never and will never be alone.

It's been three years since Jonah passed.  My wife and I have two wonderful children - a son and a daughter - who we love very much.    I recall how cautious we were with each of the pregnancies after Jonah.  We lost our innocence as expecting parents.  You could say, we were even cautious with our hearts, hopes and dreams.  There were several complications with my son's pregnancy and we were always holding our breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Luckily for us, it never did.  Life is very hectic now as we learn to be parents to two toddlers who are only a year and a few months apart.  However, not a day goes by that we do not think of Jonah and what life would have been like with him in the world.

Few things I want to highlight about our experience:

1.) We too.  You never know how many people out there have similar tragedies until it happens to you.  I remember so many people came out and shared with me their stories of loss ranging from multiple miscarriages to babies that died during child birth.  Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies result in a miscarriage.  That number is astounding.  Because no one really talks about it so you do not know how many people in your life may have gone through a pregnancy or infant loss.  

I saw a post recently on Facebook where someone came forward and shared their trials and tribulations of going through multiple miscarriages with a graphic that said, "We too."  I found strength in their story.  When people I have just met ask me about children, I find it hard not to talk about Jonah.  I know that is "over sharing" in most people's minds and cultures.  There are times when I did not share in work situations and I struggled with it.  For me, Jonah was one of our children, and I would not feel right leaving him off the list.  When we did share our story, most shared their personal stories or stories of loved ones that went through similar tragedies.  That bond has led to deeper relationships.  While I am not a proponent of oversharing, I do feel like the times when I was comfortable doing so, I inadvertently helped someone by saying, "We too." 

2.) It's not about how long they lived.  While it is not uncommon for miscarriages to take place, I do not think that it is a worthwhile exercise to delve into the degree to which the parents should grief based on the duration that the baby lived.  A loss is a loss.  It is a loss whether you make it through the first trimester or successfully delivered a baby.  As a parent, your heart and soul is completely invested into your child the whole time.  A mother feels her baby inside her every moment of everyday.  Like many dads, I spent many waking moments day dreaming about the future lives of my children while they were still in my wife's womb. 

In Chinese tradition, when a baby is born, he or she is one year old.  I like that tradition because it recognizes the baby's life while in his or her mother's womb.  Therefore, it is unnecessary to compare tragedies or worse, dismiss miscarriages as minor tragedies because the baby was less than 20 weeks old.  The sadness is just as deep, and the fear of trying again is just as great.

3.) No, we never forget.  Whether it is because we do not talk about it as much, or that we are apparently in a better place because of the children that we do have, we still mourn our loss everyday. There always seem to be people with good intentions who nominate themselves to voice their opinions of why we should get over or get pass pregnancy and infant losses.  While that may be perfectly healthy coping mechanism for them, they should never assume that it is a one for those who experienced the loss. 

Sometimes, an over protective parent is just over compensating for not being able to save their baby from a pregnancy or infant loss. You just feel like you cannot do enough to keep the ones who lived safe. Every cut, bruise, cough and fever can be really scary for parents who have gone through a pregnancy or infant loss. 

My wife and I get choked up when people ask us how many children we have together.  We get choked up on Jonah's original due date.  We get choked up on his birthday and during the holidays. We get choked up trying to decide whether or not to call our son the oldest.  You never know what will be the next trigger that will bring back memories of our loss.  The one single similarity among all of the "we too" stories that I heard is that no matter how long ago the tragedy took place, they never forgot the loss that they felt.

4.) Help us.  Those of you familiar with the Kubler Ross model of the five stages of grief realize that we all embark on similar physiological journeys when we experience a loss.  Some of us never get to acceptance and moving on.   I believe that my wife and I really helped each other through our grief journey.  Our marriage is much stronger for having gone through the loss of Jonah.  I would not have been able to go through it without my wife's love and support.

I also found strength and comfort from the love and support of those around me.  I remember receiving father's day cards and my wife receiving mother day's cards the year we loss Jonah.  That was such a kind and thoughtful gesture.  We received prayer cards that let us know there were communities of faith praying for his soul.  To this day, one of my friends continue to send Christmas gifts to Jonah as if to tell us that she knew that we remembered and she loved and supported us.  I find strength when I look at all the cards and gifts around the statue where Jonah's ashes rest.  I cannot thank my friends and family enough for the support they have given us and continue to give us.

I know this is taking a slight turn from my usual posts.  I do feel that it is important to raise awareness for Pregnancy and Infant Loss month.  October 15th is a national day of remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss.  Let us all take a moment and pray and think about the many grieving parents out there and the babies that were called back to Heaven to be Angels.  To find out more about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, please go to http://www.october15th.com.  

Stay Cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat

Finding Your Voice

Rambunctious Rat here rambling randomly again.  One of the biggest stereotypes of Pan Asian professionals and students is that they are quiet and domicile people.  I can tell you from growing up around my family, or sitting at dim sum on Sunday mornings, or watching Hong Kong protestors marching while carrying umbrellas in one hand and yelling into megaphones held in the other, we are not a quiet and domicile people.  That thought actually offends many second generation and beyond Pan Asian Americans.

So where does this stereotype come from?  In general, we are a people who have been taught to think three times (三思) before we speak, and speak only when it results in a benefit, otherwise say nothing.  In addition, we had to strictly adhere to the established hierarchy that often results in speaking only when asked to do so.  When you think about it, these are all sound lessons.  This style of communication would be appreciated by people with no-nonsense social styles, and would be expected if anyone is looking to be successful in Pan Asia.

So what's the problem?  In Corporate America, it is critical to have a voice if you want to be successful.  The behaviors that are considered respectful and acceptable in Pan Asia can be mistaken here in Corporate America as a sign of being disengaged, lacking comprehension or competency, or lacking thoughts or points of view.  In my line of work, silent participation in any client meeting can lead to the customer questioning the hourly fee associated with participants that did not contribute to the discussion. So yes, it can be a problem, and one that can hit your company's wallet if you work in professional services.

I pride myself as someone who carries myself with a certain level of charisma and generally comfortable with speaking in public situations.  As a matter of fact, I believe that is why people got me involved with Asian Employee Resource Groups and mentoring Pan Asians working in Corporate America.  I am the poster child for what they want from Pan Asian employees and leaders.  If you have heard me speak on the topic or read my previous blogs, then you will know that unlike Lady Gaga, I was not born this way.  I was a quiet immigrant with a very limited English vocabulary.  Through the years and the opportunities afforded to me, I became more and more comfortable with the English language and finding my voice to speak in public.

Here is a shout out for the second generation immigrants and beyond.  As much as I appear to have completely adapted to American Corporate Culture, especially in speaking up, it is still something I have to work at every day.  I have to constantly remind myself to get pass what I was taught as a child and leverage the soft skills I learned in my life and career to find my voice.  Without that constant reminder, I would have struggled through my career that included customer service, sales and relationship management, training, management, consulting, and leadership.  So regardless if you are an immigrant or a few generations out, you may still need to learn and practice your soft skills to overcome your cultural influences.

Like my other posts, I will share lessons that I have picked up along the way that helped me find my voice:

1. Know your audience.  No matter what form of communication (written, verbal, non-verbal), you will have better results in being heard if you target your style and content to your audience.  If you are speaking with someone who is typically short in time, do not start the conversation with banter.  Vice versa, you need to take the time to bake personal dialog into your business discussions with people who value relationships.  The best way to capture your audience's attention is to research and tailor your message to what is important for them.  If your audience expects to hear about insights, experiences, and point of views, then you will need to bring all of those elements into the conversation. If you are making a presentation to an office with a casual setting like Google, then leave the suit and tie at home.

If you are a leader of a team, then try an ice-breaker where you ask everyone to share how they like to communicate as part of a fictitious owners' manual for the team.  When we performed that exercise in one of my old teams, we discovered that preferences for communication vehicle was very diverse among the team.  Some preferred emails, while others preferred instant message, or texts, or phone calls, or video calls.  It was enlightening for everyone because we quickly realized that you cannot assume that one was more effective than another.  It all depended on the person's preference.

Bonus question: If you know the person you are speaking with tends to drop "F-bombs" when he or she talks, do you?  I think this is a tricky one.  I would go with yes.  However, that is because I am comfortable with swearing.  I kind of feel like I have earned the right to do it.  There are two major caveats though.  It cannot feel forced.  If it is not in your nature to do so, then you really should not.  It will seem like a desperate attempt to fit in, or so out of character that you appear to have been off your medication prematurely.  The other major factor is the setting.  There is definitely a wrong time and place to be dropping "F-bombs."

2. Grow your presence.  Often, the challenge of finding a voice in a meeting is not one of language barrier or cultural tendencies.  Rather, it is one of professional maturity.  I remember what it was like being junior staff member in a meeting and trying to figure out the right spot to speak and not sound stupid.  Let's face it.  Not everyone agrees with the phrase, "There are no stupid questions."  Adding salt to the wound, there was always a high achiever who asked brilliant questions or contributed brilliant thoughts that made me feel like I have even less reason to speak during meetings.

When I look back now, I see a pattern in how I grew my presence to where I am now.  At first, I was definitely quiet.  The types of things that I spoke about when I first started were clarification of important points and validation of action items because I was accountable to produce meeting minutes. Eventually, I became a "pile on guy."  I took that "Yes and..." Improv exercise to heart and would build upon other people's brilliant ideas.  Let's face it, my DNA did not come with original thoughts.  In my current role, I am expected to lead discussions and make decisions.  I find myself pushing myself to jump in and go with my experience on a position during the meeting rather than let the meeting become crippled by analysis paralysis.

So, there are professional maturity expectations when it comes to finding a voice within a meeting.  The problem comes when they are misaligned, such as a facilitator who does not facilitate or a note taker who does not capture and verify action items.  The other misalignment comes in the form of speaking out of turn.  It is important not to contradict someone on your team (especially your boss) and make the team look stupid in front of the client while making yourself look good.

You need to define or clarify your role, and ask for support to help you do your job.  As a staff, you might volunteer to be the note taker and then ask the meeting leader to support you by checking in with you after each agenda item during the meeting to see if you have any clarification questions, and have an agenda item at the end where you review the action items that you had captured.  If you are expected to contribute ideas into the meeting, then prepare some thoughts when you receive the agenda ahead of the meeting, and listen closely to others so that you can complement their points with insights from your experience.  If you are leading or facilitating the meeting, set ground rules so that you can interject and manage the meeting as needed.  Please do not whisper or instant message someone who is speaking to make your points.  It is very distracting and they will resent you for not making your own points.

Remember, you were asked to be at the meeting for a reason.  You are being paid to be there.  So, you should definitely fulfill your destiny.  I am going to do a mashup between "The Rock" and Coach Belichick and say, "Know your role, and do your job!"

3. Practice all the time.  I remember hearing from an audience once tell me how it was difficult for them to speak up about their grievances with their bosses.  They did not know how to say no.  They accepted every task and ended up burning themselves out.  I get this.  Pan Asians have a work ethics bar that is way above normal standards of western society, and as my dad use to tell my older brother, "Keep quiet and do not make waves at work."

Ironically, I had witnessed the same group passionately talking about this same topic at the lunch room.  When I say passionately, I mean I was almost embarrassed by the spectacle they were making in public.  There is nothing further from the truth than saying that all Pan Asians do not speak up.  They just find it hard to speak up at work.  Many of the same people who have trouble with eye contact in a meeting look their friends and family right in the eyes when telling stories.  Many of the people who appear quiet and timid sing their hearts out at karaoke bars.  Many of the people who are seen as silent and without thoughts to contribute at work teach their children valuable life lessons every night at the dinner table.

Here is the thing.  Life is practice.  If you find something difficult to do, then try doing it in a safe environment as many times as possible until it becomes second nature.  Most of you already have all the soft skills you ever need to succeed in Corporate America.  You just need to become as comfortable using those skills at work as you do in private. Ask your friends and family to role play with you so that you may practice for a conversation with your boss.  Ask for feedback about your approach, style and content.

4.  Work the non-verbal.  I recall many performance reviews where we put down lack of executive presence as something that a mid-level manager needed to correct in order to be promoted to the next level.  When done correctly, non-verbal can help you convey power and confidence.  When done poorly, it can take away all the weight of your point.  Few things to keep in mind:

• Maintain eye contact - When people are not sure of themselves, they tend to break eye contact at the end and look downward.  Stay confident and maintain eye contact with your audience.
• Make statements sound like statements.  Many people raise their voice to a higher pitch at the end of a statement.  This transforms their point into a question and takes away the power of the statement and hands it to whoever responds to the question.  Keep the power.  End your statement strongly.
• Be authentic - People can spot an overly rehearsed story or point.  They can definitely tell if you do not believe in the message that you are making.  If you make your point from your heart, then you will elicit an emotional response from your audience.
•  Be a storyteller - People naturally go into a different non-verbal mode when telling a story.  They use their arms more often.  They time all of their dramatic pauses for effect.  They show more emotion in their face and in their inflections.  Audiences rather hear stories than listen to lectures.
• Be comfortable with silence -  In meetings or conversations, there are perfectly acceptable moments of silence that can be productive time for your audience to consider what you have said and think of a response.  If you decide to continue talking to reinforce your points, then you may drive that person away for dislike of your aggression or desperation.  If you move on and talk about something else, then your audience will not have enough time to make a good decision on what you said before, or may become too distracted on your last point to listen to your new point.
• "Check yourself before you wreck yourself" - Something I always have trouble with is getting my body to catch up with my brain.  I tend to think so quickly, that I will sometimes stutter like a video buffering to play.  The only way for me to reset is to physically hit a pause button to calm my brain down.  A good trick I learned is to clap my hands or pinch myself to force a complete disruption to my nervous system.  The more you become congruent with your mind, voice, and body, the easier it will be to convey your points.
• Bring on the confidence - I have found people to pay more attention to someone when they think that person is confident.  You may need to do a lot of prep in the beginning to proof check your points in order for you to feel confident.  Later in your career, confidence will come from your wisdom.  Perception of confidence cannot be "bought" through endless name dropping and reciting of models and theories.  When done poorly, those practices can really turn off your audience.  The napkin reads, "How do you like them apples?"
• But don't condescend - most business audiences do not like being preached or lectured at.  They definitely do not respond well to a tone that convey an air of superiority.  We grew up in academia listening to lectures from tenured professors, and our tiger moms and dragon dads manage to talk to us like we are three years old whenever we visit for dinner.  So it is easy for us to think it is acceptable to sound like that.  A little humility mixed in with confidence will go a long way to help ground your message.

5. Get to the point. Has anyone ever stopped you in the middle of your conversation and asked you to get to the point?  My classmate and I used to rush people through their conversation by holding up our fingers in the shape of a triangle as if to say, "What is your point?"  Sometimes very intelligent people can rant.  They can continue to say a lot of things and not having any structure or direction for the conversation.  Most audiences do not want to do the work of structuring your thoughts.  They like for them to come in a neat package.

Prepare for the important conversations.  Write down the key points you want to make and the supporting points that you think are relevant to gain buy-in from your audience. Practice making those points.  Refine what you have to say so that you can keep it to a succinct dialog.

One of the most surprising experience I had in consulting was sitting in a room full of Partners to rehearse for an oral presentation, and listening to the coaching and feedback for everyone from a more senior Partner.  They knew what was at stake and they did not want to screw it up by being over confident and under prepared.  The lesson for me was that if Partners knew enough to prep, then as a Director, I needed to be over prepared when I engage in dialog with them.

Bonus points if you can set up your conversation so that your audience ultimately makes your point out loud.  Getting to an ah-ha moment for your audience will be a topic for another post.

I do believe that you all have a voice.  You just need to find it and develop it.  Would it blow your mind if I said that you are speaking up when you complain that you do not know how to speak up?   Start small and practice at home so you can bring your "A game" next time you are at the table.  In time, you will be able to speak as naturally in front of a small group or a large audience as you do with your friends.  Again, I hope you have found these posts on my blog to be helpful.  I am speaking from my experiences.  I am not quoting research or guru's here but I am sure my points are influenced by them. Feel free to share yours in the comments and share this post with others who you think my benefit from it.

Stay Cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat

I am not one of them, or am I?

I just got back from the 2015 Ascend National Convention and I was so inspired by all of the presenters and panelists that I promised myself to start up my blog again and share my experiences.  This blog will focus on my journey of embracing my own culture and becoming aware of how it affects my professional career.

In 1982, my family moved to U.S. from Hong Kong. I was ten years old and found myself being a minority for the very first time.  We moved to the suburbs where there were not many other Chinese.  All of a sudden, I was different.  I was singled out in the classroom, at the playground, and on the school bus.  I did not really speak English.  Sure, I learned English in Hong Kong but it was different when you did not use it or hear it every day.  Everyone spoke too quickly for me. I was completely lost anytime an American colloquialism was used to explain things.  Like text responses on the iWatch, I had several predetermined responses ready to go at any given time, "Yes, no, and what." 

Even then, I realized that many of the people I interacted with had blind spots about the Asians.  Back then, people wouldn't know or care about the fact that I was Chinese.  I recall painfully how some of the kids (and adults) were hateful of Asians because of the rise in popularity of Vietnam War movies in the early 80s where Asians were the antagonists.  We were often racially profiled.  There were times when I did not feel safe walking down the street because of the things that people were shouting at me.  There was an incident when some kids threw an ice ball across the street at me shouting, "Go back to where you came from chink!"  I went home with blood on my forehead and my pride left somewhere back in the snow banks.  I was becoming conditioned to dislike being different.  I was being conditioned to dislike being me.

My most shameful act of giving up my Chinese identity happened when I called my cousins chinks on the school bus because I wanted to pronounce to the others that I was not one.  Needless to say, once I got home, there were a lot of "Aiyah's" and shouting.  My aunts and uncles and parents were ashamed of me.  I was a scared 10 year old boy who was just grasping at straws to fit in.

There were other stereotypes that I wish were actually true.  Most people automatically assumed that I was good at martial arts.  Many would assume I knew Karate even though Kung Fu would have been more appropriate for a Chinese immigrant.  They would mock me with Bruce Lee fight cries or Mr. Miagi quotes.  Had I actually been a master, I am sure I would not have been made fun of as much.  Then there were the stereotypical math and science genius genes that never found their way into my brain. With all the focus on STEM today, I wish I was a math and science genius.

As I grew up, I shed more and more of what would have been Asian stereotypes.  I had become fluent in English. As a teenager who dabbled in theater, I would often try out different accents.  A Chinese accent was the one accent I could not do.  Although, it once defined me as different, a Chinese accent had been permanently erased from me.  Strangers assumed I was born in the U.S. and friends would comment that they forget that I was Chinese until they hear me speak Cantonese with my parents.  I was outgoing, popular, and far removed from the reserved and soft spoken stereotypes.  I dated white girls, and only really had white friends. Those were good things, right?  The scared ten year old boy finally gained the approval of the natives and accepted as one of them. I finally fit in.

There were a few more incidents that made me feel like that scared young boy who was treated differently.  I struggled through the disapproval of an interracial relationship by a girlfriend's parents that led to our breakup.  I remember the reaction of another girlfriend when she saw the chicken and the fish plates during dinner at my house and how she made fun of it with my friends when we were back on campus.  I remember one incident when I did not respond quickly to a question from a stranger on the street and they immediately took the approach of repeating their question slower and louder as a way of compensating for an assumed language barrier.  These incidents made my skin crawl.  They reminded me that no matter how I try not to be different, I was very much still the subject of discrimination, jokes, and humiliation. They made me feel like that ten year old boy again.

"Acceptance" and "tolerance" were terms often used in the early 90s for diversity.  Affirmative Action which required companies to hire a certain number of minorities had created tension between the white majority and minorities.   As a Resident Assistant at Bentley College, I was invited to participate in a course to help promote diversity on campus.  It turned out to be one of those experiences that pivots a person to the core.  They taught us that acceptance and tolerance were not good enough.  For diversity to work, we needed to appreciate and celebrate differences.  Isn't that what I had been doing?  I have embraced, appreciated and celebrated different cultures and fully assimilated into the American culture.  So what more was there to learn?  It turned out, my life changing take away was that the one culture I did not embrace anymore was my own.  As a result of my experiences, I had all but avoided being Chinese.  I did not have any Chinese friends and the one student group I never went near was the Bentley Asian Student Association (BASA).  Ironically, I would have spent much more time with my now wife had I been an active member of BASA.

With the realization that I had been avoiding my own culture, I began rediscovering what it meant to be Chinese.  I spent countless hours binge watching Chinese TV Dramas on six-hour VHS tapes.  I decided Chinese food was my favorite comfort food, MSG and all.  I spent time learning about Chinese history and my ancestors' lives in China.  I also realized then I ultimately wanted to marry a Chinese woman some day because we would share the same culture and values, and I would be able to go to dim sum and enjoy real chicken fingers and not worry that my wife was going to freak out.  I was finally comfortable being Chinese.

So now I was a fully assimilated American who is also happy to be Chinese. I figured it all out, right? I was ready to help others with their struggles as Asian immigrants. I was fortunate to have been asked to support diversity efforts at work which led me to my first Ascend Convention.  Ascend is the largest non-profit Pan-Asian professional group whose leaders have dedicated their time to cultivate Pan Asian leaders.  I was moved by their passion to give back and pay forward.  Shortly thereafter, I began my own journey of giving back and paying forward.  I felt like I was the poster child of what they were selling. After all, I had broken down all the stereotypes and became successful in corporate America by not being afraid to speak up or stand out.  Or had I?

Shortly after an Asian Awareness Program where I facilitated an introspective exercise for a group of Asian professionals, I encountered my own challenges at work.  Through that experience, I realized that I still carried the weight of suffering in silence as described by many of the participants in my session.  I realized in my own introspection that when it came to things related to my own job satisfaction, I was more willing to let things go unsaid than to become the squeaky wheel that got the oil.  Humility is a tricky thing. It is also the one Asian stereotype I traded in long ago to become popular.  I was humbled when I realize I wasn't as much of a poster child as I thought. 

So despite 30 plus years of living in this country, efforts of fitting in and not becoming a stereotypical Asian man living and working in America, I still had Asian values and beliefs at the core of my being.  Some of those traits had been very important to my success - value meritocracy and work hard. Other traits may have prevented me from opportunities, work life balance and job satisfaction - keep quiet and not cause waves.

So what's next?  This epiphany was not about going back to losing my Chinese identity. It was about finding a new balance that helps me pull together the best of what I've learned from growing up in this country and what I brought with me from Hong Kong.  It is about being agile and flexing between the two. It is about innovating something new like Ming Tsai's East meets West fusion dishes.  It is about being bold and willing to do what my scared ten year old self was not ready to do. It is time to stand up and be me, an Asian American.

Stay Cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat

Get uncomfortable when comfortable isn't getting you where you want to go

Hello there, it's the Rambunctious Rat here rambling away again.  Today's blog is called, "Get uncomfortable, when comfortable isn't getting you where you want to go."  In this blog I will share ten lessons that I have learned from my experiences navigating Corporate America.  I share these lessons for readers who feel they've reached the proverbial bamboo or glass ceiling in hopes that they will be inspired to do something different and uncomfortable to help them breakthrough.  I have heard and read similar success tips from other professionals as well.

People often tell me they are not getting ahead and the many reasons they think are holding them back.  The one similarity in their stories I have observed is there exists a sense of complacency or comfort in what they have already accomplished.  The truth of the matter is that if what got you to the dance is not getting you noticed, then it is time to change your dance moves.

1. Performance is King - As an Asian American, I was raised in a world where metrics were drilled into my psyche.  On report card day, my Dragon Dad and Tiger Mom would be all over me to tell them my grades.  After discussing how they compared to previous quarters, my parents would immediately ask me how my best friend did.  So, at a very young age, I learned that metrics had two purposes: show my trend and my relative performance.  Oh yes, my results were never good enough and they could have always have been better.

I know it sometimes feels like the squeakiest wheel gets the oil in Corporate America.  I know there is a stereotype in America that you can BS your way to the top.  "Fake it until you make it."  I will tell you that almost every conversation I have had about people started with performance and then potential.  If you do not have the numbers, then you have nothing to stand on.  I have been a part of many formal and informal coaching conversations when someone attempted to cover up their lack luster performance with claims of unfair treatment or favoritism.  A very close African American friend used to say, "Performance is king." You have to earn the right to be at the table.  We did not take short cuts to get to where we were, and we would expect no less from others who aspire to get to our spots.  Now if there are factors beyond your control that is hindering your ability to perform, then absolutely, they should be addressed.  However, once those obstacles are removed, and you still do not perform, then you are still not in a good place.

Many people have told me that they felt cheated because they out performed someone else who received a promotion ahead of them.  I remember feeling this way early in my career as well.  I felt that I was smarter and better than my bosses.  So why did I not have their jobs?  The answer was that their performance metrics were completely different than mine.  I was good at my job, but I would not be good at their job.  What I have learned is that companies promote people based on whether or not they will be set up for success.  This is in the best interest for the company and for the individual.   Everybody loses if someone was promoted before they were ready and end up being let go shortly thereafter.  Therefore, in seeking promotion, one needs to understand the performance metrics of that next level and demonstrate the ability to perform at that level.  Doers need supervisor skills to become supervisors.  Supervisors need managerial skills to become managers.  Managers need executive skills to become executives, and so on.  Most companies have competency models that allow you to look head at the next level.  In order to get promoted, it is more important to perform at the next level than be the best performer at your current level.

2. Find your "Sprint Goals" - In my fifth grade year book, I said I wanted to grow up to be a rock star.  When I graduated middle school, I wanted to be a movie and TV actor.  Obviously, I never came close.  When I hear fantastic stories of achievement, there was always one thing in common: unprecedented life-time commitment.  Olympians practice hundreds of thousands of hours to compete for less than a minute.  Arbitrage brokers work daily on one-hour sleep.  Award winning entertainers lived out of their cars for years while trying to break into the business.  It is easy for me to disassociate myself from these stories because I lack that type of drive and commitment.  It would be easy for someone like me to say that I am not that person, and therefore will never be that successful.  It is the perfect excuse for a procrastinator to remain ordinary.

Then again, even procrastinator like me have dreams.  They may not be as lofty as my childhood dreams, but I do want what most people want: financial independence, a nice home for my family to live in, good education for my children, etc.   To quote one of my favorite songs to sing as a lullaby for my daughter, "First when there was nothing, but a slow growing dream, that your fears try to hide deep inside your mind."  In some scale, we all have goals that we aspire to achieve in life and at work. Over time, I have learned to break down my long-term goals into a series of short-term goals.  In Agile Project Management terms, I would be setting goals for a "sprint" rather than the entire project.  I have found shorter and more attainable goals keep me moving forward rather than standing still.  I also found that it was helpful to anchor myself with my immediate realities but allow myself to iterate and change as the realities shift.  My advice for anyone coming into the beginning of their professional career is to make sure they do their current job well before setting their sights onto the next job.  My first job was with a call center.  I had never imagined I would become "Judy the Time Life phone operator."  However, the thousands of hours I spent providing customer service and investment advice gave me the foundation for the soft skills that I use every day as a strategy consultant.  So, before you poo-poo that first offer because it is not a lucrative Transaction Services job from the Big Four, think about how that job might give you the skills for your dream job.

I do like the idea of putting your near term goals as a vocal point to your daily routines.  Some people like to visually keep their goals as wallpaper on their device or a picture on their bathroom mirror.  I heard one brilliant suggestion on how to keep short-term goals top of mind.  A woman made her goal the password at work, which needed to be changed every 60 days per company guidelines.  This way, she was reminded of the goal every time she logged onto her computer, and she will keep evolving her goal when the password expires.

3. Plan the work - Some great genius came up with the proverb of Ps.  There are many variations and origins, but the one I gravitate towards is, "Poor planning produces piss poor performance."  This phrase definitely helped me remember the importance of planning.  One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my executive coach was to slow down and plan my work.  I grew up as part of the first generation of multi-takers.  We try to do everything at once.  Although this might be successful in some cases, my wife can tell you that based on all the half started projects around the house, the results are mixed.  So my executive coach worked with me to do a few things that really helped me plan my work.  Step 1. Breath, Step 2. Prioritize, and Step 3. Align.

Taking a breath before jumping in is very important for someone like me who is all over the place.  We decided to schedule planning time daily to plan my day and a day ahead of any significant meetings or conversations.  This way, I will have dedicated time to think through my desired outcomes for the day and for meetings.  A positive side effect was that I filled my schedule up so that I no longer had room on my calendar for back to back meetings where I am shooting from the hip at each one.

Stephen Covey had this great analogy about filling up your life with the big rocks first, then fill up with smaller rocks, then sand, then water.  This helps to ensure you complete the most important tasks first.  When you add my procrastination tendencies to shooting from the hip, what typically got done were things that were easy or fun, but not necessarily things needed to be done.  So setting aside time to prioritize my day forced me to act on things based on urgency.

One of my biggest learning from a 360 degree feedback was that my boss and my direct reports were not always clear on why I was working on the things that I was working on.  In today's business world where the volume of work is back breaking and priorities can change as quickly as the New England weather, it does become unclear as to what is driving our actions during the day.  So the final lesson I learned about planning was making sure that I align my work with agendas so that it is clear to me and to others how my actions contribute to a higher purpose.

Lastly, it is also important to spend time and meditate on how you are doing against your personal plan.  Ask yourself, how often you are working on items on someone else's plan rather than your own plan.  It reminds me of the advice someone gave me when I was moving out.  If I own, then I am building my own equity.  If I rent, then I am building up someone else's equity.  Plan some time to spend on things that are important to you.

4. Work the plan - I have witnessed countless plans collecting dust in SharePoint folders and hard drives.  Somewhere along the line, the emphasis on planning surpassed the weight of the execution of the plan.  In life, I was often given the opportunity to take a retreat and re-calibrate my personal professional plans.  Whether I was sitting in a classroom, or purposefully setting time aside on my own calendar, I would stop and think about where I was going, and build a plan of action items to get there.  Along the way, there were volumes of excuses that come up for me to not revisit or work that plan.  The most likely scenario is that I registered the exercise in my head, felt good about going through it, and then kept the highlights in the back of my mind.  But I did not get the full benefit out of the exercise.

Well managed projects require constant monitoring and active management.  Otherwise, the good work that went into planning becomes at least partially wasted.  So, what are some best practices to working the plan?  I like that most of our workplace now are equipped with online calendars integrated with reminders tools.  I block off time on a reoccurring basis to revisit my personal plans and add reminders to make sure I am executing on action items.  I am also aware of people leveraging smart devices and wearable technology to remind themselves to monitor and work their plans.  Some people meditate while others think about it while they go on long runs.  You have to find the way that fits your lifestyle.  You should also celebrate milestones.  It is like having cheat day for being good about exercising and eating right all week.  Celebrating wins will keep you motivated to work the plan.

5. Always be Learning (ABL) - Learning is a life time achievement.  In today's world, there are many ways to continuously develop yourself.  The traditional classroom environment is an obvious way to go.  When I was growing up, a Master in Business Administration (MBA) was beginning to become table steaks for getting hired.  With the advancement of online universities and MOOCs, higher education has become more accessible than ever.

Most companies offer a robust formal training curriculum to help develop their people's capabilities.  At minimum, you should take advantage what is available to you from your company.  Identify your performance gaps through performance reviews then you should sign up for training that is available so you can learn to make immediate improvements.  Like all other non-work related tasks at work, training tends to get dropped off due to competing priorities.   Therefore, it behooves you to plan, prioritize and defend your training time so that you can participate uninterrupted.  Most importantly, you need to apply what you learn and demonstrate that you have become more proficient in those skills.

There are many informal ways to develop professional skills.  You can learn by shadowing someone.  You can join a community of interest.  There are many "in the moment" learning that you can access externally and internally, such as podcasts, videos, blogs, learning boards, articles and white papers. You can leverage collaboration tools to crowd source information and experiences from experts to accelerate your learning curve.  In today's world where everything has become the Internet-of-things, informal learning is easier than ever.  It has become second nature for me to find instant gratification for my curiosity.  

6. Work Smarter, not harder - Raise your hand if you have had this experience.  I spent hours thinking through a set of data and manually manipulated a spreadsheet.  Along came an intern who takes a look at what I did and tells me that I could have done everything in a fraction of the time that I spent by using tools in Excel.  Often people that work for me will brag or complain that they pull an "all-nighter" to complete a project.  I try to understand if they needed to do so in the first place.  Did they churn for hours without asking for help?  Did they research for accelerators rather than start from scratch?  Did they iterate and not waste time going too far down the wrong path?  Did they delegate or look for help rather than setting off on some heroic quest?

In my younger days, I had many sleepless heroics that made me the stuff of legends among my less enthusiastic colleagues.  Once my co-workers found me taking a nap on bubble wrap under my desk when they came into work in the morning because I had just spent all night in the office working.  So yes, I knew how to work hard, but it was not until later in my career that I started to compare working hard with working smart.

Now, I want to be clear that I do not mean to say picking the path of least resistance or short changing the outcome by avoiding hard work.  I only offer that there may be practical ways to accelerate productivity.  There are the classic ones, such as remove distractions and avoid multi-tasking.  People who work for me have a ten-minute rule.  If they have churned for ten minutes, then they need to ask for help.  Schedule check points so you can iterate and make sure you are going down the right path.  Crowd source and collaborate to gain from others' experiences.  Working harder rather than working smarter is like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

7. So what - When I was growing up, we had G.I. Joe cartoons that ended with a public service message to teach viewers life lessons.  They would end with a proud proclamation that "Knowing is half the battle."  As I grew up in Corporate America, I found a subculture of observers who always seem to know what is wrong with everything.  At first, I was impressed. After a while, I realized that although it was helpful to recognize problems, knowing was only half the battle.  There is another half battle to be fought and that is answering question, "so what?"  There are three parts to "so what": a.) impact, b.) solution c) value.

Once I was talking to a close friend who wanted to be promoted.  I asked him what problems he saw at work and what he would propose to fix them.  He told me that he feels like people always enjoyed a social, so he would make sure there were more pizza parties.  I told him that response would crush him in an interview.  I told him that he needed to show he understands the business results that his team is trying to achieve and what may be getting in the way of its success.  He needed to think of examples that hit the hot buttons for the people who are responsible for that team's results.  So he came back and talked about inefficiencies of hand-offs between the day and night shifts and how it was frustrating their customers and has been escalated numerous times.  He proposed ways to improve that process by formalizing best practices that he employed with his counterpart.  I thought that response nailed it.  A boss once told me, "Do not make your problems everyone's problems."  What he meant was that I needed to prioritize my requests.  It is true that what might be important to me may not be as high priority for someone else.  Therefore, it is important to also consider the impact of the "so what" when picking your battles.  Said differently, you may want to "make your boss' problems your problems to solve!"

After I moved into management, I discovered that I was investing a lot of time listening to people describing what was wrong, but hardly any of them had ideas of how to fix what they were describing.   For you to be successful in Corporate America, you need to go beyond just identifying the problem.  You need to offer up ideas on how to solve the problem.  You may not be experienced enough to have the right answer.  In that case, you can offer up ideas and ask for validation and coaching on your solution.  Either way, at least you show that you are willing to take the initiative.

Finally, you need to demonstrate that you understand the higher purpose of what you are trying to do.  You need to be able to articulate the value of your solution.  There should be quantifiable benefits, especially if the impact is great.  You should also include some qualitative benefits that will elicit an emotional response and commitment from whoever you are selling your ideas.  One final tip here is to make sure you can show the benefits in alignment with something greater, such as a Corporate Agendas and Campaigns. If nothing else, you will be seen as a big picture thinker which is critical for career advancement.  There is nothing that will help boost your career as quickly as being an architect for solving a relevant business problem that helped your organization towards its goals.

8. Master your soft skills - I have been a part of many conversations where the Asian American audience expressed language barrier as one of their top challenges in Corporate America.  In business, the gift of gab is essential to success.  There is no way around it.  You have to learn to speak the native language fluently in order to excel.  I once asked a foreign MBA student audience, "What would your career advice be to an American working in your country?"  They all responded with, "Learn the language."  It was an ah-ha moment that filled the room with knowing silence.  I was speaking with a Korean American who said that he was older when he immigrated to the U.S. and his tongue was already too well formed so he could never lose his Asian accent.  I challenged him by asking him if he ever heard an accent when a foreigner sings in English.  It made him think for a bit.  I am not a speech therapist, but I think that it is possible with practice to adopt the proper accent for any language.  Andrew Lincoln, the British Actor, who plays Rick Grimes, an American cop from Georgia on "The Walking Dead" might be proof.

In 2008, I spent three months working in Munich, and I found comfort in finding and hanging out with other Americans.  I understand why many immigrants spend time with people from their own countries or speak their own languages.  From personal experience as a Chinese immigrant, I also know that those who do not get uncomfortable and branch out, will not be challenged to improve their language skills. When I was in Europe, I spent time with German co-workers and watched German television just to pick up some of the language.  I can tell you that did wonders in helping me build relationships with my clients there.

Beyond understanding and speaking English, you need to be able to convey a point verbally.  This part takes out most people.  The thought of speaking aloud in a group setting is scary enough to make some people have panic attacks.  There are ways to overcome this. You need to practice a lot.  Most companies have Toast Masters which are classes where employees practice making presentations.  When I was growing up, I did theater, ran for student government, and delivered speeches at school events.  I continue to take every opportunity to practice public speaking at church, at work, and through volunteering.   So I would encourage you to face your fears and look for as many opportunities to do public speaking as possible.  Start with smaller audiences and move to larger ones as you get more comfortable.

Another must have soft skill is relationship building.  Your success is predicated in your ability to build relationships all around you.  You need people above you to coach, mentor and advocate for you.  You need your peers to collaborate with you.  You need direct reports to follow you.  You need clients and customers to trust and buy from you.  All of these relationships are critical for you to move forward.  They are always changing and they require your time and attention.  You cannot get complacent with any of these relationships.  Like everything else, you need to plan your relationships and work your relationship plans.  Once upon a time, I built a relationship with someone who was new to the company.  We became great friends.  I credit the majority of my career to him as he brought me into two of the three companies that I have worked for since.  Students ask me all the time how to build relationships with professionals in order to receive mentoring.  I remind them that there are professionals at their schools, such as professors, administrators, career counselors, who are paid to be their mentors.  I would exclaim, "They can't say no!  You pay them to be your mentors!"  If you practice building and maintaining relationships with those around you, then it will become easier and easier to do so with people you do not know.

9. "Skate where the puck is going" - Wayne Gretzky, a hockey legend accredited this quote to his dad as wisdom of how to play hockey.  It has been quoted many times over in business settings.  I would rather sit down and talk to people who are going to shape the future beyond digital than spend time with someone who cannot stop reminiscing the day when the dot-com bubble burst.  You have to monitor your goals and plans against where things are going not where they are today.  If you resist change, then you will be left behind.  You have to evolve and transform your current skills to skills of tomorrow.  Businesses are changing so quickly that if you are not reinventing yourself every few years, then you will become irrelevant.

In the 1999, I transformed myself from a stand up trainer to becoming an eLearning expert by reading books on the topic and attending conferences to learn from industry leading thinkers.  I remember sitting down for a week in 2004 with five books on designing online higher education programs.  It was target growth area for the start-up company where I worked.  By the end of the week, I had reinvented myself to be our resident expert on online MBA programs.  I authored white papers and accompanied our sales team on oral presentations.  Today, I am continuing to evolve and transform to keep up with the digital disruptions to businesses.  The evolution and transformation of business never stops.  Therefore, it is imperative that you evolve and transform.

10. Take others with you.  "Everyone is replaceable.  If you are irreplaceable, then you are unpromotable."  "You have to train your replacement." Two pieces of advice that stood out to me in years when I moved up the manager ranks.  In essence if you are only out for yourself, then you aren't helping the greater good of the organization.  Each business survives by those who succeed their predecessors.  If you are only out for yourself, then others may see that their legacy will end with you.  There are some difficult lessons to be learned here for high performers.  We have spent many waking moments thinking about how well we did relative to others, but little to no time thinking about how to develop others.  It is a terrible thing to be branded as someone who 'they' cannot live without.  At best, that type of brand might buy you job security.  It will not paint a picture that you are ready to move to the next role.  A better way of demonstrating your readiness is by passing on what you have mastered onto an heir apparent or a team.  In today's work place, people are recognized for sharing their secret sauce for the greater good.  Employees are encouraged to share their lessons learned by "working out loud" through social platforms.

One thing that you do get to appreciate in this process is the feeling of closure that comes with passing the torch.  Another benefit in taking others with you is that you will for certain always learn from those who you are trying to teach.  If nothing, you will learn to be a better manager, coach and leader.  You may also gain new perspectives and insights to the next generation of thinking and doing.  So the next time you have a performance conversation about your achievements, make sure that you do not limit yourself to just describing personal achievements.  You should include activities that led to the team's success and development of others within the team.  It may be uneasy to think that you are training someone to replace you and you have nowhere to go afterwards.  That would only be true if you had not already planned your next move and evolved yourself to get there.

That's it from me for now.  I have shared a number of lessons that I picked up along the way.  I hope they have been helpful for you.  Feel free to share your own lessons learned in the comments.  Two final Rat wisdom to take away.  1.) In a capitalist world, there is no entitlement.  You have to be the driver of your own success. You have to be willing to get off your couch of complacency.  Get out of your comfort zone because it is not getting you where you need to go.  2.) Successful people are conditioned, not born.  You not only have to take the first step, but you have to take every step afterwards until you get to where you want to go.  You will have to practice all the time until you go from becoming successful to being successful.

Stay cheesy,

The Rambunctious Rat